Is it difficult to be so in demand all the time? - @tygerbaby

No, but apparently what's difficult is tying a cherry stem into a knot with your tongue. If a woman can do that, I automatically want to have drinks with her after work sometime.

Why are you fucking my wife at work? Are you trying to get her fired?! We have mouths to feed. - @AnalystAlterEgo

I have mouths to feed too, and she happens to be one of them. And by the way, her mouth is spectacular. I can see why you married her.

If you had the possibility to have no moral, money or legal restaints for 24 hrs, under the knowledge you'd have no repercussions from it. What would you do in that space of time? - @Floramaria1

I'm pretty sure I do everything I want to do right now, regardless of repercussions. I'm sexually immoral, I waste company funds for personal entertainment and gain, and at any given moment I could be either fired or arrested for any number of these daily activities.

You regain consciousness naked in a strange room and handcuffed to a radiator. You see yourself in a shard of mirror and realize you have a mullet and a new tattoo of a mermaid fucking Captain Morgan. What events led up to this? - @jurgennation

Blair and Fiona the Cunt got pissed off at me and joined forces to fuck me over. They lured me with the possibility of a threesome, then drugged me, and there the fuck I am in your scenario or any number of other Saw-like situations. I frequently have this nightmare.

What was your all-time favorite television show when you were a kid? - @jurgennation

I didn't have a television set growing up. I was raised by penguins in the South Pole. To this day, I can't wear a tuxedo.

I thoroughly enjoy swallowing and exploring the different flavors of a man. What would you taste like? - WetNoise

I've been told I taste like creme brulee with an after burst of Skittles (not sour, but regular). Except when I eat asparagus. Then the girl just spits it back on me with a disgusted look on her face. Not sure what I ate, but one day a girl told me that I tasted like waffles. And although she liked waffles, without the maple syrup, it just didn't seem complete.

I keep my balls clean-shaven so that women spend more time down there. Apparently they taste like coconut milk. This is mainly due to the fact that I dip my balls in coconut milk before meeting up with a girl. I heard it was a natural aphrodisiac for women. Not that you actually need one at the point they're sucking your balls, but again, it's all about getting them to spend more quality time down there. Sometimes I'll dip my balls in honey, sometimes in apple sauce. Depends on the mood and the girl. But watch out for the sweaty balls. Spur of the moment sex isn't always best for ball sucking.

What do you do about depression?  I find that I am depressed because my sexual activity has decreased significantly.. Obsession with Blow Jobs and having sex from behind.?  My boyfriend tells me that I am high maintenance and that I should take a chill pill... Is asking for sex once or twice a day unreasonable? - Carolyn

I'm no doctor, but I'm pretty sure the medical community recommends alcohol as a treatment for depression. Whenever I'm depressed, I do a couple of shots of tequila and I'm good to go. Well, until I start weeping, or telling everyone either I love you or fuck off. 

The main reason sex significantly drops off in a relationship is marriage. Although sex for me actually increased. It did, however, significantly decrease for my wife. 

If your boyfriend won't have sex with you, I'm sure you can find someone who will. I'm not advocating cheating; I'm just saying that if you have sex with someone who isn't your boyfriend, you'll have more sex than you have today. I'm no sex therapist, but I'm pretty sure they'd agree. 

That sounds an awful lot like I'm advocating cheating... But more importantly, why do you have a boyfriend if he's not giving you what you want? Ditch him. Tell him to chill alone.  

Dirtiest place you've ever done it? Or most public. With who? - Anonymous 

Dirtiest place: My boss' desk. Who knows what the fuck he does on that thing. Hopefully I got to his desk before Kessler. That'd make it dirtier than Patpong pussy darts. 

Most public: Could be anywhere. Tree sex, car sex, parking lot, open house, dressing room. The list goes on. And with who? Take your pick from the Users in my blog. Rarely do I get a private place with a nice soft bed.

Do you have a particular winning combo when it comes to the order of a girl's body parts you give attention to? - Candy

The ass crack is a good place to start because you can do so many things with it. For example, you can do a luge body shot of tequila off the ass crack. Definitely an ice breaker when you meet a woman at a bar. That usually takes 8 - 10 regular tequila shots before a woman will agree to it though.  You can wedge an American flag in a woman's crack. Doesn't really do anything sexually for me, but it's very patriotic. Thong panties make it easy to control a woman by hooking your finger at the top of the thong just above the crack and twisting. It's like having the reigns of a horse. The more you pull, the more they obey. You can also play "talking ass" with the crack. Women are usually shocked by what their ass tells me to do. From there, it's a free-for-all.   

Are your nipples sensitive? Do you like them licked, nipped, sucked? Can you feel the attention I'm giving them right now? - Craving Cock

Are you sure you're not Craving Nipples?  I'm okay with it, but I'd prefer a woman to suck my toes. Especially after I've run a 10k. It shows real dedication. She does that, you know you can put just about anything in her mouth. 

Do you believe in love at all? Did you initially love your wife? - Bonny

Love is like Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny. Everybody says they're real, but who's actually seen them? I left cookies out for Santa this year and he didn't eat them. Granted, they were stale Oreos, but it's not like he could have known that without at least taking one bite. So maybe love is more like Oreo cookies. They seem yummy at first, but they always go stale and then there's nothing you can do about it. Well, except get new Oreos. So if love is like an Oreo cookie, then yes I believe in it. If it's like Santa, no I don't believe in it. And yes, I initially loved my wife because she tasted like a new Oreo cookie. 

Question: Do you ever create fake identities for yourself when you meet a new girl? If so, what has been the wildest one? - Tasty Treat

Jason X: Yes, but only because I'm a very bad wingman. I like to assign random identities to myself when my friends start hitting on women. Not impressive identities meant to cock block; instead, deviant identities to see if I can throw them off their game. For example, I was out with Conklin and decided to be a former member of the Puerto Rican boy band Menudo. The girl had no idea who Menudo was and clearly wasn't impressed, so I continued to suck the life out of the conversation by Pauly Shore-ing up a storm. Conklin finally pulled her away and disavowed any knowledge of who I really was. But it was too late by then. I bought next round.

Other identities:

• Special Agent for the FDA
• Adult film actor Jack Mehoff in the gay porn industry (swearing I'm heterosexual, but that gay porn is where the money is)
• Kelly Ripa's personal assistant
• Janitor at a high school (hard to get a good job as an ex-con)

If my friends actually hook up with women while they're out with me, I'm very impressed. But it's rare. 

Question: Do you ever go skinny driving? - Corky

Jason X: I tried driving in the nude with a girl once, but we both kept grabbing the wrong stick shift. 

Question: What's the best way to bring a technology project in on time and on budget? - Daryl and Daryl

Jason X: The best way to do this is to complete the project before you even request the money. That way, you know exactly how much it will cost and obviously whatever timeline you give them, you'll meet. Once you get the project approved, you start charging time to that project while you work on the next one. This works very well for me. Except for those projects that don't get approved. I have to sell those to third parties online.

Question: Now that you're in the after life, where did you end up? And can you get me a good seat? - Far

Jason X: I'm not sure. They didn't let me into the place where all the religious fags were standing around sucking each other's dicks, but instead sent me to the place where I'm hanging out with Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra. It's a fucking party 24/7. 

If the seats are all taken, there's always my lap.

Question: I heard a rumor that you faked your death. Are there Snuggies in the afterlife? - PanteraSnuggie

Jason X: The place I'm at doesn't even require a heater. It's plenty warm already. We lounge a lot by the pool. 

Question: Have you ever lost interest in fucking a girl in the midst of foreplay or while fucking her? If so, what did you do? - Anonymous

Jason X: Yes, several times. It's usually when her husband or boyfriend comes home early. Always results in coitus interuptus. The good thing is, women are very good about preparing for this moment. They prep their husband or boyfriend by talking about me before hand--this quirky I.T. guy. So I usually don't even have to run out the back. I'm just that nice technology geek who gave her a ride home from work. Oh, and I was just leaving...

Question: Do you ever think you'll write a book about your sexual adventures? - Anonymous

Jason X: I know I'll at least write a blog about it. I don't think I'll get a book deal until some angry husband or boyfriend actually tries to kill me. Hoping to get shot sometimes this year. 

Question: How long are you planning to be dead? - Fragileangel

Jason X: I was thinking just three days. But then I thought, a whole week and I blow Jesus' record out of the water.