I used to be in a Puerto Rican boy band

Question: Do you ever create fake identities for yourself when you meet a new girl? If so, what has been the wildest one? - Tasty Treat

Jason X: Yes, but only because I'm a very bad wingman. I like to assign random identities to myself when my friends start hitting on women. Not impressive identities meant to cock block; instead, deviant identities to see if I can throw them off their game. For example, I was out with Conklin and decided to be a former member of the Puerto Rican boy band Menudo. The girl had no idea who Menudo was and clearly wasn't impressed, so I continued to suck the life out of the conversation by Pauly Shore-ing up a storm. Conklin finally pulled her away and disavowed any knowledge of who I really was. But it was too late by then. I bought next round.

Other identities:

• Special Agent for the FDA
• Adult film actor Jack Mehoff in the gay porn industry (swearing I'm heterosexual, but that gay porn is where the money is)
• Kelly Ripa's personal assistant
• Janitor at a high school (hard to get a good job as an ex-con)

If my friends actually hook up with women while they're out with me, I'm very impressed. But it's rare. 

Question: Do you ever go skinny driving? - Corky

Jason X: I tried driving in the nude with a girl once, but we both kept grabbing the wrong stick shift. 

Question: What's the best way to bring a technology project in on time and on budget? - Daryl and Daryl

Jason X: The best way to do this is to complete the project before you even request the money. That way, you know exactly how much it will cost and obviously whatever timeline you give them, you'll meet. Once you get the project approved, you start charging time to that project while you work on the next one. This works very well for me. Except for those projects that don't get approved. I have to sell those to third parties online.