Things to do with a woman's ass crack
Wednesday, January 20, 2010 at 04:44PM Do you have a particular winning combo when it comes to the order of a girl's body parts you give attention to? - Candy
The ass crack is a good place to start because you can do so many things with it. For example, you can do a luge body shot of tequila off the ass crack. Definitely an ice breaker when you meet a woman at a bar. That usually takes 8 - 10 regular tequila shots before a woman will agree to it though. You can wedge an American flag in a woman's crack. Doesn't really do anything sexually for me, but it's very patriotic. Thong panties make it easy to control a woman by hooking your finger at the top of the thong just above the crack and twisting. It's like having the reigns of a horse. The more you pull, the more they obey. You can also play "talking ass" with the crack. Women are usually shocked by what their ass tells me to do. From there, it's a free-for-all.
Are your nipples sensitive? Do you like them licked, nipped, sucked? Can you feel the attention I'm giving them right now? - Craving Cock
Are you sure you're not Craving Nipples? I'm okay with it, but I'd prefer a woman to suck my toes. Especially after I've run a 10k. It shows real dedication. She does that, you know you can put just about anything in her mouth.
Do you believe in love at all? Did you initially love your wife? - Bonny
Love is like Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny. Everybody says they're real, but who's actually seen them? I left cookies out for Santa this year and he didn't eat them. Granted, they were stale Oreos, but it's not like he could have known that without at least taking one bite. So maybe love is more like Oreo cookies. They seem yummy at first, but they always go stale and then there's nothing you can do about it. Well, except get new Oreos. So if love is like an Oreo cookie, then yes I believe in it. If it's like Santa, no I don't believe in it. And yes, I initially loved my wife because she tasted like a new Oreo cookie.
Reader Comments (6)
Honey,
Based on the hypothesis that "love is like an Oreo," it appears as if you enjoy the savory flavors of fresh cookies when the original cookie becomes dry and stale. Is this accurate?
Do you see yourself as the sweet white creamy filling for the cookies? Or, do you see yourself as the milk which makes the cookies easier to swallow?
Are you a fan of "Double Stuf" Oreos? Moon Pies?
Thank you for sharing your confection confessions with me.
Your hopeful wife to be,
*********smoooch*********
Uhhhhh. Um. Hi. I'm going to go eat a fresh Oreo. I'll let you know how it turns out.
You are a married man who attracts women like Internet Explorer attracts viruses. I believe that you are also a religious man who does not believe in divorce. As a man with biblical acumen, would you consider going Old Testament on me and accepting me as a concubine? Solomon was known as the wisest man to ever live (until you), and, he enjoyed many concubines. I am asking for you to enjoy only one: moi.
You seem to be quite disciplined with your burning passion. Perhaps you are holding back your lust lest you become the "Octo-Dad" before Labor Day (pun intended). Would it be a problem for you if there were two women in your bed every night? As we suggested earlier, there seems to be enough white filling for the two cookie parts of each Oreo. =)
If harnessing your lust is a challenge, may I suggest that you consider a conversion to Mormonism? Think of it: we could move to Salt lake City or beautiful Orem, and, having two wives in your boudoir would be acceptable...it would be like "keeping up with the Smiths..." And, if the lust is still too much for you, the Mornon church would be happy to provide you with "temple garments." If you are unfamiliar with these passion governors, they are a type of underwear worn by members of some denominations of the Latter Day Saint movement, after they have taken part in the Endowment ceremony. (Because we already know the legend of your generous endowment, every night will be a ceremony). The garment is given as part of the washing and anointing portion of the endowment. (Yum!) The garments are thought secretly thought to limit the lust of married couples. (Hmm, why are Mormon families all larger than the Brady household?) Anyway, if you agree to convert to the Mormon church, I will throw in a free bike to close the deal.
So, my question is quite simple: "Concubine or conversion?"
Thank you!
**smooch**
MrsUserPool2b: Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!! If you only knew how absofuckinglutely ricockulous and desperate you sound.
Hahahahahahah, wow. I totally second that, Tech Babe.
Jason X, how does it make you feel hearing things like what MrsUserPool2b said? Or are you simply used to it?
Not sure I would enjoy the knowledge that countless desperate, psycho, religion-bound women are obsessed with me and trying to stalk me.
Keeps things interesting I suppose, haha.
I don't think she's a real stalker, otherwise she would have hunted me down and killed me by now. She is verbose, however. That disturbs me.