Sex Addiction is like Heidi Montag

Do you think you're a sex addict? What is a sex addict? - Anonymous

No, I'm not a sex addict. The only problem I have with sex is that I can't get enough.

I believe sexual addiction is analogous to Santa Claus. Or the Easter Bunny. Or Heidi Montag. You get my point. They're fake and so is sexual addiction. Dr. Drew Pinsky doesn't agree with me, but he also believes giving a woman a facial is demeaning. Fuck, I could demean a woman having straight intercourse in the missionary position, if I wanted to. I don't need to Spackle her face to do it. On the flip side, goo face can be a beautiful part of a sexual relationship for both the man and the woman. 

It can also be very healthy for a woman. Cleopatra actually bathed in the semen of her slaves because it made her skin soft, healthy and shiny. Or so the myth goes. If it's good enough for a queen, I think Suzy Waitress, whom I picked up at BJs, can bathe in a little of my spunk without feeling demeaned. 

And by the way, are you really a doctor, Pinsky? Or are you a doctor like Dr. Phil is a doctor? Because he's a bullshit artist and a douche bag. According to Lindsay Lohan, Dr. Drew is NOT a real doctor because he called her a crack whore or something along those lines. Regardless, she's a celebrity and she's casting doubt about your credentials, so I think we should all question your qualifications and opinions on matters such as sexual addiction... Anyway, see what I did there? Discredit your opponent and you win. 

What do you look for, what do you value in a friendship with a person of the same gender as you? - Anonymous

Well, Gladstone got me laid by betting a girl she couldn't get me into bed because I was such a dedicated husband. That's a pretty good trait for a friend. 

What do you do when she is dry or you are sore? - LenaNemo

Applesauce. Works well as a lube and tastes great too.

Have you ever "Chucked a sickie"? - Fairywhispers

You mean if a girl is too sick from drinking to fuck? Yes. Or did you mean ditch work? The sex is great at work. I'd be crazy to ditch work. 

Truthfully - is everything you write on here real? Is this really your life or is this just the works of an overactive imagination? - BlognaSpotta

Yes, it's based on my experience, satirized. Although certain events are written exactly how they occurred. And certain characters are exactly how they are. Like Blair. Blair is Blair. The way her mind works is certifiably fucked up; no embellishment whatsoever. And her tits absolutely spy on me.