Office Gambling
Tuesday, June 17, 2008 at 06:19PM A friend of mine who was accused of having a gambling problem responded with:
"The only problem I have with gambling is that I can't gamble enough."
Some people say I have a sex addiction. There's only one problem I have with sex and now you know what it is.
Blair is on the rag again and I don't mean literally. I don't mind having sex with her when Aunt Flo is in town, but when she's a raving lunatic, willy doesn't leave the house. Not unless someone else comes knocking.
Given we're in Los Angeles, most people around the office are betting on the Lakers game tonight against Boston. And by the way, there's no team loyalty when it comes to cold hard cash. Just because it's your team, doesn't mean you need to bet with them. It's game five and they're in Boston; it's 3-1 Boston. How would you bet your money?
Sports betting is fine for some, but I prefer betting on something that I have a little more control over.
Gladstone and I have been debating about Zenda the Persian in Corporate Communications for the last few weeks. I say she's having an affair with her married boss Rusbridge, he says they're not. Here's why I think they are:
- Lunch together at least once a week
Okay, that's about it. But that's enough for me. Gladstone says Zenda is too hot for Rusbridge, who looks like a flamingo. But I say power, money and influence are enough for a hot woman to fall for a man; looks are secondary if not irrelevant once you have the other attributes.
Rusbridge is a very competent individual, which is odd for this company. But he also speaks with a stutter, which explains why Senior Management appointed him VP of Corporate Communications.
With the Lakers game in full force and in the spirit of competition, I bet Gladstone I could prove Zenda was having an affair with Rusbridge within a week. He took the bet.
Here's my thought on this: Zenda is no office slut. In fact, I don't know anyone who's slept with her apart from Rusbridge, if in fact they're hitting the sheets. But if she's actually having an affair with a married man, it's an emotional thing accompanied with a great deal of internal conflict.
If she has rationalized this torrid behavior as an exception because of the deep emotional commitment she has to this married man--she would never sleep with another man or that would reduce this thing from a beautiful, beyond her control love affair to just another cheap adulterous office fuck.
So...
She has flirted with me before. I know there's interest. But there's a very large distance between flirting and fucking when rationalization of this kind is on the line.
Gladstone agreed. If I can get her into bed, he wins. If I can't get her into bed, I win. Doesn't seem quite right, but that's the bet. I think he knows that if I can, I will, regardless of the bet. So he feels the outcome will be honest and true.
Sometimes it just makes sense to bet against yourself.
(Go Boston!)
Reader Comments (7)
I don't usually bet anything but the ponies. What are the oddsmakers giving you in this contest, Jason? 5/1? 7/2? Something longer perhaps? Heh.
So... is he right? Could you turn down sex to win a bet? And how much is the bet for?
I was going to correct you on the NBA game stats, but who gives a fuck, it's over. (Yeah, I'm pissed!)
Anyway, there's gotta' be a time period established for this to work, otherwise you lose Jason. And I can't deal with backing another losing team! (Fucking Lakers...)
You're going to fuck her with or without the bet.
Timeline.
Winter: closer to 8...
DS, I'd never turn down sex to win a bet. Sometimes sex has a price. You don't see me turning down sex with a psycho religious fanatic turned terrorist (a.k.a. Bonnie Bod), now do you? I'm not saying it's the smart play, I'm just saying it's my play. Gladstone knows that.
We bet the usual: a lunch.
Tech Babe: one week, as I mentioned in the blog post you so hastily skimmed more than likely during a fit of post game fury.
Ahh...sorry Jason, you're right - post game fury...fits are starting to wind down a bit now.
Going into the ICU in a few w/ the Mexican Mormon.
Should be in much better spirits tomorrow.
8/1? That's a pretty good betting value. Not a long shot but not a shoe in. Me likey.