The Cock Block
Tuesday, August 12, 2008 at 05:17PM According to www.ubersite.com, a "Cock Block" is: 
The means at which one individual prevents the sexual conquest of
another individual by word, action or motive and acts accordingly to
prevent sexual intercourse between the fucker and the fuckee.
Maricruz works for a French-Canadian named Faudeux who happens to be both a dickhead and a major cock blocker.
He has most likely tried and failed to dip his own pen into her company ink, and therefore now feels it his duty to also make every other man fail who attempts the same.
So as I was talking to Maricruz in her cube, Faudeux kept interrupting as if he needed to discuss business with her. I patiently waited until he ran out of fabricated business issues, then he went back to his office until he was able to fabricate more. He did this several times.
Faudeux is only a manager. However, he believes I'm a director because I have a couch in my office. Only directors get couches. I only have a couch because Emily the Facilities manager also believes I'm a director. She believes this because she counted my ceiling tiles in the last office I had, and since only directors have that many ceiling tiles, she assumed I must be a director. Ironically, I was moved out of my office because I had more ceiling tiles than I deserved because I am not a director.
Fortunately, the couch still moved with me.
I say "fortunately", because that is the exact location I was planning to fuck Maricruz. Unfortunately, I've been cock blocked by dickhead.
The next time I stopped by to talk to Maricruz, I knew I had been fucked over immediately.
"Blair? Blair who?"
"I heard there was something going on between you two," she said.
That little French-Canadian cock-blocking fucker.
Well, a momentary delay. Nothing that can't be remedied.
I just need a plan. A cock blocker block plan.
Reader Comments (5)
You're nothing if not resourceful, Jason. I have faith in whatever convoluted plan you come up with. Maybe Smithee needs to scare the French-Canadian hoser, eh?
Not bad... Sometimes I forget what a good ally my own boss is...
Cock Blocker Blocker Plan A .
Next time you see Maricruz, tell her Faudeux is a compulsive lier, tell her not to believe anything he says, then tell her he goes around saying he's shagged every girl in the company, and your not saying who. That should do it.
You guys are devious. A plan is percolating with these ideas in mind...
Don't let the cock-sucking cock-blocker run his game. And little Ms. Maricruz's concern for Blair is merely a game. If anything, that should make her want to fuck you more. Any chance a woman can get to make another woman feel as though she's old news and there's a new, possibly hotter, and possibly more desireable chick in town, is great fun! You'll nail her=)