Thursday
Jan012009
New Year's Resolutions
Thursday, January 1, 2009 at 06:18PM I thought I'd put together a quick list of New Year's Resolutions for 2009. This is not a simple wish
list; I will do my very best to achieve each and every one of these goals:
- Revive some old bad habits
- Put career number one by doing less and taking credit for more
- Drink on the job
- Exorcise the demons from conference room 3402
- Convince at least one vegetarian to eat meat.
- Use the word "gash" more
- Be more creative with duct tape
- Go to the gym more often--until I hit it with the MILF
- Volunteer more for charitable acts that might somehow result in getting me laid.
- Pay even less attention to global warming; flesh eating zombies will kill us all long before the weather.
- Find ways to give back to the community in the form of sexual deviance.
- Train six cats to take down Mulhausen
Well, there you have it. If all goes according to plan, 2009 is going to be a great year. Let me know if you have any other suggestions.
Reader Comments (9)
Awesome resolutions! I can help you get those trained cats being that I am a vet tech and all, lol.
Perfect! I've wanted to train cats to be attack cats for a long time. By my estimation it would take at least 6 trained cats to bring a man down.
Those are great solutions.
I beat you on the 'drink on the job' being that I work most of the time from home and rarely have to go to the office (which is only 4 blocks away.)
Also already completed...#9 at the Relay for Life this past summer. The dude was hot!
Maybe I should strive for the STL Ronald McDonald golf tournament this year myself? I know it was a joke, but I was a pretty bad girl this year. *actually has the audacity to blush*
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I think those resolutions are perfect. I wish you luck on trying them...lol, especially with the cats.
I enthusiastically applaud lucky #7... you can be a contributor to my book "The Deviant Ways of Implementing Duct Tape into your Life"
Nile: I think being a bad girl is a great resolution. You were a bad girl last year and you still got presents from Santa, didn't you?
Far: #7 was inspired by your book. It made me realize I need to be more creative with duct tape. Please, show me the way...
Is it weird that I'm most excited for number 5?
Definitely with you on #10. And if I do happen to buy a plush polar bear, it's b/c it's cute and not b/c I'm contributing to some global warming prevention fund.
Alex V., not at all; you must have strong corrupter sensibilities.
Tech Babe: Weird how people think plush polar bears will save the world from Man-Bear-Pig.
Man-Bear-Pig....Hahahahahahaha!!!!!! Loved that episode!