HR called me in for questioning today regarding the missing toilet paper in the men's bathroom on the executive floor on 34. And while I promised I had nothing to do with it, the fact of the matter is, I had everything to do with it. 

I don't have anything against the executives on the 34th floor. This was simply a task that Gladstone had to complete today. This was strictly business.

It was also Kessler's idea, so while technically I had everything to do with it, conceptually, I had very little to do with it. 

Triplet the VP of HR let me leave after 15 minutes of interrogation once she thought she had uncovered a new, promising lead. I told her that I caught sight of Fernandez walking down the hallway carrying a plastic bag filled with something fluffy.

Gladstone was told to stash the toilet paper in Fernandez' office, behind the couch. 

When I left Triplet's office, I saw a cute, young blond girl leaving  Maxine the Recruiter's office. The girl was wearing a professional, but tight blue dress that hugged her body like a surgeon's glove. Well, maybe not that tight, but that's how I imagine it now. 

As I passed by Maxine, I whispered, "Hire her!" then quickly caught up to the girl as she was leaving the HR lobby. I held the door for her and she thanked me.

"They're going to hire you," I said.

"Really?" she said, surprised. "How do you know?"

"I just told Maxine to hire you when I passed by her. My opinion in this place goes a long way. So when you do get hired and start, make sure you stop by and thank me."

She looked at me only half believing. I get that a lot from women for some reason.

She asked me what I did that was so influential in the company. Now at this point, if you say Technology, the person knows you're lying because everyone is acutely aware that an IT professional has no power in any company, no matter what level you are. 

"I'm Director of Finance," I said.

While Finance has no power in any company either, they act like they have all power in every company and therefore everyone believes that they have all power, including the CEO. 

"What's your name?" I asked.

"Kelsey."

"I'm Jason. Look me up after you start."

I walked away with a happy little song in my heart. Someone at this company was sourcing high-quality talent; that's one thing this company has done consistently well. And hopefully they will hire the talent in question so that I can get my hands on her while she's still young and impressionable.