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« Good Jason, Evil Jason | Main | Girl Scout Cookies Cause Global Warming »
Tuesday
Mar302010

Aimee the Temp

A new temp with big tits has been working in our department for over a week now and I was not informed.

When shit like this happens, you know there's a real breakdown in office process and communication. Gladstone and McKinney have been buried in Easter preparations as directed by Tefft. She wants to make this year's celebration the biggest and best to date, tying Jesus and his resurrection to the Zombie Apocalypse. This should be interesting.

So I can't really blame either one of them.

Kessler blacked out last week and hasn't been the same since. I'll detail the saga in an upcoming post. He is also excused. 

Yaya has been playing video games in the Test Lab for over a week. And while he should actually be fucking with Gladstone since that's why he was hired, I can't blame him for not talent scouting. Not his job. 

But Conkin and Petrizzo have both been doing something reprehensible and unacceptable: their jobs. If you have to spend more than 20% of your time at the office actually doing work for the company, you've got a serious time management and priority planning issue. 

After I determined how such a travesty could've happened and put both Conklin and Petrizzo on probation, I wandered over to Network Services where this new temp has been hired.

Her name is Aimee. Very young, brown hair, big tits and an annoying personality. Did I mention, big tits? 

It's very easy for me to strike up a conversation with a new temp. Where's Gladstone? Where's McKinney? You're new here, aren't you? Blah blah blah. You look important so she'll talk to you, and smile, and laugh as long as you're willing to stand there. 

She's sarcastic in a really young way. Which means the sarcasm isn't funny; it just lies there while you look at it, neither offended nor humored by it. 

Did I mention she has really big tits? From the look of them, natural too. 

So against my better judgment, I had every intention of getting smacked around by those two big bad-ass cans of hers--whether she knew it yet or not. But then she said:

Do you work for Jason Y?

Work for? Talk about a mood killer. The evil Jason had already gotten to her. Evil, in the sense that he's good, which makes him evil to someone as evil as me. Because I view myself as good regardless of the mainstream definition of good. But I digress...

No, I don't work for Jason Y. We're peers. I'm the good Jason. He's the evil Jason. Remember that.

It's bad enough that he's hitting on my existing Users, but to beat me to the punch with new talent... That's just unacceptable. 

I keep saying this, but Jason Y has got to go. I need to stop being lazy about this. 

Did I mention she has really big tits?

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