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Satire, Humor, Office Politics, whiteboard
Satire, Humor, Office Politics, whiteboard us·er pool [yü-zer pül]
In the world of technology, a User is someone who uses a computer. More specifically, it's someone who asks stupid questions about the use of that computer.
In the context of this blog, a Pool refers to an available supply, the use of which is shared by a group.
My job is to provide technical support to these users, many of whom are female. That's where things get a little messy...
Featured Blog TECH-BABE:
Her latest post: The "Reverse" Cock-Block
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Entries in whiteboard (1)
Thursday
17Jul
Whiteboard Etiquette
Thursday, July 17, 2008 at 05:01PM
In Technology, a whiteboard is like a dick: size matters. 
The larger the whiteboard, the more important you seem and the more attractive you are to women in Technology. If it's big, they always want to touch your whiteboard. But they're intimidated by it because they know if they put something on it, there will be a lot of exposure. So it better be good.
If your whiteboard is small, you're obviously responsible for very little in the organization and therefore undesirable.
The more diagrams and bullet points you have drawn on the whiteboard, the more overworked everyone thinks you are. So you need a lot of space. Large content translates to high performance. Size and performance always matter.
I have a very large white board.
While most people use their whiteboards for drawing boxes that point to each other, I like drawing different renditions of my staff.
For example, when Maharajapuram broke his leg hiking, I drew him breaking his leg off with blood spewing in all directions. A little much, but I figure I should have the artistic license to elaborate a little in order to maximize the entertainment value for my audience.
I also like to list out potential users for the user pool as if they're people I need to contact for a project or something. I can reference my whiteboard often to keep my eye on the ball, so to speak.
One thing I don't like is when people write "Don't erase" on whiteboards in conference rooms. If you have to keep something for a day so that you have time to copy it down, I'll let it go. But if I see that note on a whiteboard for more than a day, I erase it--whether I need the whiteboard for a meeting or not. I, of course, leave the "Don't erase".
Other things you should NOT do with a whiteboard:
- Use a Sharpie, especially on your boss's whiteboard (unless he's not in the room at the time).
- Use it to write out code; code is an eyesore, I hate looking at it.
- Write things like "Blendi stopped by!! XXOO". Because before you get back, Blair stops by too and leaves the message: "You're dead."
- Draw pictures of naked women (unless it's on your boss's whiteboard and he's not in the room--and you're using a Sharpie).
- Use as a wakeboard; warps it and washes off the latest diagrams.
