Rule 6: Don't Say What You Think
Saturday, February 23, 2008 at 12:16PM Similar to Rule 5, don't say what you think or everyone will hate you and you'll find yourself assigned to work on "Special
Projects" which are designed to keep undesirables away from the general office populous.
Instead, translate your rude thoughts into something that conveys the same message in a more acceptable format. Here are some examples:
Say: You have some interesting ideas.
Translation: You're a fucking idiot.
Say: If you ever need any help, just let me know.
Translation: I'm better than you.
Say: Let's try to think outside the box.
Translation: Your ideas are stupid.
Say: Can we wrap this up? I need to run to another meeting.
Translation: This meeting is boring the shit out of me.
Say: Chew on it for a while and let me know what you think.
Translation: Suck my dick.
Say: Why can't you be a little more flexible on this?
Translation: Why are you being such an asshole about this?
Say: I'll see what I can do.
Translation: Go fuck your mother.
Say: You have a unique style.
Translation: Who dresses you in the morning? A monkey?
Say: Nice charts.
Translation: Nice tits.
Say: I'd like to provide some solid input and get your honest feedback.
Translation: I'd like to fuck your brains out and make you scream like a Banshee.
Don't say what you think; think what you say and keep your career moving forward and upward.
View Printer Friendly Version
Email Article to FriendReferences (2)
-
Response: Free RingtonesFree Ringtones -
Response: Free RingtonesFree Ringtones
Reader Comments (6)
You're forgetting one big one:
Say: "Let's take this offline."
Translation: No one gives a fuck to what you have to say because you're a fucking idiot, and you're already skatin' on thin ice.
Luvin' the "Suck my dick..." translation! Hahahaha!!!! LMFAO!
why do you like the suck my dick translation..is that something you enjoy?
Say: Tech Babe, great comment, you're so original.
Translation: Why are you on Jason's nut sack so hard. It's ok to have your own ideas and not try so hard to be his female clone.
I would like Tech Babe on my nut sack. Please don't discourage her...
The way I see it, Tech Babe was just sticking to the theme of my post, as were you. To me, both comments are funny. Keep 'em coming...
Seriously - Firstly, I don't swing on anyone's nut sack. And secondly, not a fan of cloning, outside of the stem cell research initiative.
But thanks for the thought.
Many of these seem to have fairly limited use...