PhoneShag Articles

Location, Location, Location

Jason X — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 23:02:57 +0000

Bed is a great place for sex because you can take your time, show off all your skills, take advantage of all positions, and essentially have plenty of room to get the job done right. But it’s not always the most exciting location for sex. Sometimes you need to make it a little more thrilling and one of the best ways to do that is to find a new location. And I’m not just talking about moving to the couch. Go out into the world.

Below are 10 suggestions to help you make sex more entertaining and possibly get you arrested:

Location #1: Car

Car sex is probably the most popular “unusual” place for sex. So take it up a notch by picking a great location to park the car. For example, park the car in a movie theater parking lot...

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Get Your Zodiac on for Spring

Jason X — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 22:56:58 +0000

Spring is the cyclical rebirth of nature and your astrological sign will determine whether your own rebirth this spring involves hot new sexual adventures or another underwhelming dry spell. According to Zodiac Mythology. Well, my version anyway. I’m just trying to prepare you for the inevitable, so here’s what you can expect:

Aries

This spring, Venus is going to drive you nuts and literally try to kill you. Possibly with a golf club. Remember, it’s a time for rebirth. Get rid of that excess baggage that’s been dragging you down and get some strange. If you don’t, you’re looking a very long and arduous Spring. Expect to be dead by Summer...

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5 Effective Phrases to Use in Your Adult Personal Ads

Jason X — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 22:50:48 +0000

Online adult dating has now become one of the primary methods of hooking up. And one of the critical components of online dating success is having an effective personal ad that will draw people in to make that connection. Below are some sample phrases that will help make your personal ads stand out so that you get more attention and ultimately, more hook-ups. Sure, there are phrases like “No strings attached” and “Feel free to ask me anything” that people tout as being effective because of upfront honesty and bluntness, but they certainly won’t make you stand out....

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5 Rules for Maintaining a "Friends with Benefits" Relationship

Jason X — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 01:55:46 +0000

I’m not going to waste time restating all the obvious rules for maintaining a “friends with benefits” relationship, like No spending the night or Use condoms. I’m sure everyone is up-to-speed on the basics. What I’m going to give you are 5 rules that will guarantee your FWB status won’t accidentally slip into a bona-fide relationship.

1. No first aid

If your fuck buddy slices her hand by accident while cutting limes for tequila shots, do not assist her in stopping the bleeding. That would imply you give a shit...

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Sexting Etiquette

Jason X — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 02:00:00 +0000

The telephone was an incredible invention. But once we got over how revolutionary it was, we also realized what an incredible annoyance it was. Because it forced us to communicate with friends and family whether we wanted to or not. Which is why text messaging has literally become our telecommunications savior.

We can ask or answer a question without being forced into an entire conversation. We can have quick, to-the-point conversations, and even multiple conversations with multiple people at once.

And now Phone sex also has its abbreviated and more convenient version delivered in the form of “sexting”.

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Dishonesty is the Best Policy

Jason X — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 19:07:24 +0000

You’re going out with someone for the first time and you want to make a really good impression, so what do you do? There are things you want to do, things you could do, but what should you do?

Lie like a motherfucker.

Most dating and relationship sites will tell you to be honest and upfront on your first date. But this blog isn’t about developing strong, long-lasting relationships. It’s about getting laid. So fuck their advice and listen to me…

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be yourself on a date. I’m saying that you should be yourself pretending to be someone else on a date. That way, you’re being honest about being yourself without actually being yourself. Is this making any sense...?

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Source: Dishonesty is the Best Policy (http://adultfreepersonals.phoneshag.com.php5-14.websitetestlink.com/2010/02/dishonesty-is-the-best-policy/) by Jason X

Wear Your Avatar Out, Have Sex in 3D

Jason X — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 22:04:16 +0000

2D porn is good, but getting laid in 3D is the best. It just requires a lot more than a good grip and some lube.

First, if you want to increase opportunity, then stop going to the same places. Second, looking and acting like the locals will get you laid. It worked for Jake Sully, didn’t it?

Like in the movie Avatar, if you go to planet Polyphemus, you go out with your Na’vi body because he blends in with and relates to the natives–and let’s face it, he’s a lot stronger, more agile, and definitely much bigger than you are.

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Source: Wear Your Avatar Out, Have Sex in 3D (http://adultfreepersonals.phoneshag.com.php5-14.websitetestlink.com/2010/01/wear-your-avatar-out-have-sex-in-3d/) by Jason X

Go Ugly Early

Jason X — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 20:00:28 +0000

This one is for the guys.

Before anyone gets their panties in a wad, there are no ugly people. There are just people you’re not attracted to. Everyone has their own taste. You know, like at work when you find out someone you think belongs in a circus act is actually married. Someone found that person attractive. Or your buddy likes them thick and you like them anorexic. It’s a matter of personal taste.

So when do you compromise your standards?

You’re in a bar, you’re there to get laid, and there’s only one women in the whole place who meets your qualifications...

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Source: Go Ugly Early (http://adultfreepersonals.phoneshag.com.php5-14.websitetestlink.com/2010/01/go-ugly-early/) by Jason X

Dinner and Bondage at 8:00?

Jason X — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 23:10:27 +0000

Maybe it's time to branch out...

Online adult dating leads to all kinds of new adventures, including BDSM, which stands for Bondage and Discipline (BD), Dominance and Submission (DS), and Sadomasochism (SM). I'm not saying, get into it; I'm saying, have a little fun with it if you happen to run into it. This article is really for those who don't know much about it but are at least a little curious.

Not that I'm going to educate you on BDSM; I'm just going to tell you how to dabble...

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Source: Dinner and Bondage at 8:00? (http://adultfreepersonals.phoneshag.com.php5-14.websitetestlink.com/2010/01/dinner-and-bondage-at-800/) by Jason X

New Year's Resolutions: Fuck 'em

Jason X — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 03:02:43 +0000

Who started this New Year’s resolution bullshit, anyway? First of all, I take pride in my vices. If I get rid of them, I become someone else, and I actually like who I am now. Granted, it’s not all about vices, but that tends to be a big part of it. Vices keep life interesting, which is why we want to hold onto them. But if you really want to throw a vice out, then just do it. Don’t write it down, don’t tell your friends and neighbors, just find some other vice to take it’s place.

Here are a few of the top resolutions and why they’re so ridiculous...

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