Happy Hump Day! Johnnie Vasquez (JV) and I were finally able to synch our busy schedules for a little mid-day romp. After the reverse cock-block DC pulled on me on Monday and after a shit-storm of a day on Tuesday, this was a very well-deserved lunch meeting, to say the least.

Mid-day sex has got to be thee best de-stresser one could ask for after a crazy morning filled with back-to-back meetings and having dealings with the likes of Danny Conrads, muffin-top and bagel bandits, and other pricks roaming around the office. Here are the other reasons why I love the idea of mid-day sex:

• You get right to the physical throws of passion because you're both time constrained
• The sex is definitely explosive because you both know you're time constrained
  
• There's no need for cuddling and talking about anything because you both know you're time constrained, and
• It's great cardio in the event you can't make it to the gym later because of an urgent task you're working on that is, of course, urgent and time constrained.
  

Really, all that's left to do after your 30 minutes of mid-day passion is:

• Give yourself a quick under-the-hood car wash (10min.)
  
• Put yourself back together (5min)
• Run by a drive through to grab a bite to take back to the office (15min)

And that's your 60 minute lunch. You can text or twitter each other later on in the day to schedule your next mid-day romp or night out or to continue the bedroom talk you couldn't finish because earlier because you were both time constrained. Ideally, for this to work as outlined, one of you should live nearby or be in close proximity to a Marriott, at minimum. (Cheap motels are out of the question, unless you're 16.)

We're finally getting together for a long overdue real night out this Saturday. This guy's a keeper!

Danny Conrad does it again. He scheduled a 2 hour requirements walk-through meeting with the business areas last Friday. (A requirements walk-through is a grueling work session between IT and Business folks to ensure IT can provide what the business actually wants. Half the time, the business never knows what they want but still expect IT to come up with a solution.) Anyway, I digress...back to Danny...so he schedules this meeting and I put my team together to make sure we're in full attendance.

The meeting was scheduled from 9:00a.m.-11:00a.m. Knowing Danny likes to listen to himself speak, I blocked out an extra 1/2 hour to accommodate for Danny sitting in his own self-absorbed ego drowning pool. And that was more than generous, I thought. I then scheduled a mid-day romp session with my Mexican Mormon, Johnnie Vasquez. Johnnie and I have been doing a lot of business travel lately so it's been difficult to synch calendars. Lunch hour has been our only opportunity lately. And guess what? I'm taking it!!!

It was now 11:20a.m. and JV was already sending me erotic text messages. Meanwhile, DC is going on and on about shit no one really cares about! I blurted, "So we're coming up on time here. Can we talk about next steps and schedule a part two session later this afternoon or tomorrow?"

"But we've only gotten through a third of this document and we have to cover the bulk of it today."

The rest of the meeting participants were already squirming in their seats with the "I gotta pee" look on their faces. Just when I thought I'd have enough backing on this DC makes a proposition.

"How about we take a 15 minute bio-break and I order lunch in, then will everyone stay?"

Of course! And what was I going to do? Leave and be tagged as the non-team player and let Danny look like God? HELL NO!!!!

Danny knew I had a lunch date since he asks the admin to check what I've got on my calendar daily. I blocked off my mid-day romp session as "Dr. Appt." Of course with Danny here, he knows what that means because that's what he and I used to do back at our other job when we'd take off for extended lunch periods. Well, his would have something to do with his car, like an oil change or something.

Point, he was on to me and knew why I was overly anxious to get out of that meeting that already ran 1/2 hour over.

I texted JV and apologized sincerely and told him I'd make it up to him somehow. Being the understanding guy that he is, no big deal. I mean sure, he was a bit disappointed and may have even been a bit "blue." But there was no way in hell Danny was going take this meeting over without me putting up a fight!

The meeting went on til 2:30p.m. The business still doesn't know what they want. Danny's an asshole. My kitty went from a purr to a roar. But good news is Johnnie accepted my reschedule for Wednesday afternoon. And this time, the subject line read "Meeting w/ Finance." DC stays away from Finance since they're always ripping him a new one with his expense reports!

Good thing, cuz this kitty needs taming!!!

Our last re-org happened no more than a little over a month ago. The water-cooler buzz winner from that re-org was the creation of the “Special Projects” department. 

That’s right, you guessed it…we’re re-org’ing again folks! But this one is pretty drastic from what I understand. This time a Senior senior senior manager’s position is being “eliminated” and those that reported up to this senior x3 manager are merging in with my department. Anytime a position is being “eliminated” at that level, there’s a strong possibility the entire department is going too. Doesn’t sound too drastic, but if you worked here, you’d understand.

Makes me so proud to be part of this organization!

For those of you in and around the L.A. County area, I'm sure you're already privy to the 5.4 jolt we just had.

I was just getting ready to meet a friend for lunch over at the lot but needed to take a quick detour to the ladie's room. On my floor, the doors to the ladie's and men's rooms are juxtaposed. (Think Lavern & Shirley slamming doors into one another.) Anyhow, the rocking started right as I opened the door to the ladies room, and I just decided to park myself under the door frame there. So we're rockin' and rolling and I hear "Shit - Goddamn, Holy shit,..."

The door to the men's room opens and it's Wenky yelling obscenities for fear of his life and follows my lead by parking himself under the door frame of the men's room.

One problem, his pants were still to his ankles and I made unintentional eye contact with the "snake-eye."

"For Krishna's sake Wenky, put that shit away!"

He takes a look down at his ankles, looks up at all the things moving and shaking around us, looks at me turns beet red  and says "Sorry boss, I cannot finish business under these conditions. Someone has angered the Gods!"

The shaking stopped and he ran back into the bathroom to put himself back together. I went ahead and met my friend for lunch...business as usual.

Unlike most around me, I was quite happy and excited we had an earthquake. It's been quite a while and maybe the housing market will normalize now.

It's about time we shook things up a bit around here.

Happy Aftershox!

So I was 1 of the mil consumers who picked up the gen 2.0 iPhone this wkend...

Off the top, this shit is sick! The graphics n the speed r like no other device on the mkt.                  (Thx 3G!) Lotsa free apps, quick installs, and gotta' luv the addition of MS Outlook Exchg                    n Active Sync.

Wut I don't like so far, but worth the patience n getting used 2...

-No SMS text features w/ the cute smileys=( 

-Lotsa typos for chics w/ nails, so takes longer to type nething

-Contacts search bar isn't static

Guess u can't have it all...but I luv my new toy=)

(BTW, this took me about 1/2 hr to post fr my iPhone=/) 

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Sent from my iPhone. Please excuse any typpoos n brevity.