War Room Stories
Wednesday, March 26, 2008 at 08:30PM Most IT Departments have a conference room designated as a War Room. In politics, a war room is where all the strategic planning goes down. Some very mission critical decisions have been made in war rooms, for example….uh, we’re talking government politics here, so no example that actually adds value. Anyways, 
that’s beside the point. Ironically enough, it’s the conference room where those invited to the war room are required to leave the politics at the door to allow for free speak and opinion; to really engage in the natural flow of creativity and critical thinking all pointing to a common end state. In the IT world, war rooms are designed with the same use in mind and typical frequenters of the war room include Developers, Project Mangers, Vendors, etc…There they collaborate and “ideate” and think they are getting shit done.
War rooms usually have walls plastered with white boards, every color EXPO markers, flip charts, and no phone. Some have comfy ergonomic chairs that recline and activity board games in case your stay in the war room becomes extended or someone has a brain fart. And that’s exactly what our war room has. But we also have a pool table and chaise sofa up against the back wall. Oh, and there are no windows.
Most folks in IT don’t like being invited to the war room because that would mean they would actually have to be productive that day. Not to mention, war room events can be an all day affair. I’ve seen it happen. And by the end of the day, with nothing concrete accomplished, people are at each other’s throats, blurting out obscenities to one another, threatening to take spouse’s away…you get the point. I mean people really do go to war! Which is probably why there aren’t too many female war room frequenters. They’d be killed, massacred, emotionally disturbed for the rest of their lives!!! I, as much as possible, try to avoid war room requests. But not because I’m afraid of what might happen, but more so because of what I know will happen…men exploiting all their testosterone against one another and me having to play referee. No time for that.
There is, however an exception to a few women who are invited to the war room. But they are never women in my department. They are usually vendor reps selling some new 3rd party software/application to the company. These vendor reps are likened to pharmaceutical reps. Most pharmaceutical reps are hot pieces of ass!!! Their client base is doctor’s clinics. Most doctors are men…so they buy in. Same concept here. When vendors come into town to give their “dog n’ pony show”, the war room is usually booked solid!
It’s no secret what goes down in our war room. I’ve got an invitation to a vendor demo this Friday and I was sure to expect a female sales team. Not this time around, I’m getting two fresh MBA guys out of Columbia University. The Relationship Director I deal with from this vendor has caught on. Since I will be the ultimate decision maker for this vendor app, and having been in our war room before, she decided to send over a pair of guys who look like they did gay porn, even though they’re not gay, to put themselves through school. (Still not sure how that’s possible.) And I know this because the vendor website is big on introducing new members of their organization with a mini-bio and photo-op in the company’s “meet the team” section in their “About Us” page.
Let’s see how this goes….cowgirl up! (Just kidding…am I?)
Reader Comments (1)
Sure they're not gay...