Big Small World
Thursday, May 15, 2008 at 06:16PM 
Just when I thought things were looking up, I get caught with my mouth wide open!
Got hit with the flu pretty bad over the weekend and just made it back to the office today. In the three days I was out, my IT Dept. managed to make it through another re-org (not sure what the impact is yet, but all I know is my project budgets have been re-instated), Wenky has fully incorporated profanity into his daily vocab, Romie is back and in full effect, and the best news of all….got word that the cunt I was supposed to be working with got hit by a truck (not really, put in her resignation). Pretty exciting, I know. But something was up again…I knew it—I could just feel it!
And I was right. I was checking my calendar for the day and noticed a meeting scheduled with the cunt for transition planning. I heard she found her own replacement and was parading this person around to do a meet and greet. And because she’s a cunt, my meeting time was scheduled for 5p.m. (I hate her.)
Anyway, I was glad to hear a replacement was found so quickly. This particular project was already behind schedule and could not afford any additional bottlenecks.
Five o’clock rolls around and figured I’d make my usual 10-15 minute delayed entrance. I also knew there was a farewell happy hour scheduled for her at 5:30. But only 4 of 20 accepted the happy hour invite. She’ll be pissed I was late but I really don’t give a fuck.
I walked into the small conference room, a few doors away from my office, at 5:22p.m. and there she was with a big fake fucking grin on her face. I threw her one back and played my part.
“Hey, too bad we couldn’t finish the project together, sweetie…”
NO SHE DIDN’T!!!! I hate when another woman calls me ‘sweetie,’ ‘hun,’ or any of those other terms that qualify as glazed doughnut ingredients!
“Yeah, such a shame after all the work you put in to get it going…” But I really meant, “…such a shame after all the dick you had to suck to get it going…”
“But hey, I’ve got a great guy that should be able to pick up right where I left off.”
“Perfect! Where is he?”
“He should be here any second, he just went to the men’s room.”
There was a lot more fake smiling, laughing, and talking going back and forth for about another 10 minutes, then a knock on the door…
“And here he is now…”
As I looked up to the heaven’s and thanked the stars for getting rid of her…
“Meet Danny…”
Nothing but silence and blank stares for about 8 seconds. She continued…
“You two will be fabulous together,” an evil grin came about, “so I did a little research and saw the both of you have the same work experience. I’ve gotta’ run, but you two talk…thanks hun…”
I could feel the “ghetto” begging to be pulled out of my back pocket. I could kill her!
Danny Conrad, Pepperdine University grad, 5+ years IT experience, typical “Woodcock” type, and an ex-boyfriend!
Of all the IT Departments that exist, why did he have to walk into mine?!?
This won’t and can’t be good. Let's just say Danny Conrad to me is like Blair is to Jason X! I’ll get into that more a little later or as soon as I find my lower jaw.
Reader Comments (8)
1) congrats on getting Wenky to use profanity on a daily basis...it's probably necessary especially since he works with you cuz =P
2) hope you are feeling better
3) i'm really sorry for such shitty news with the "new guy"...good luck with that
4) seriously, that woman who left is a "cunt" and i NEVER use that word to describe anyone
Oh shit, a male Blair? he's gotta' have some gay tendencies!
Cousin - thanks for having my back!
E - You hit it right on the nose. He's overly emotional and sensitive. A pussy...
Haha, don't misinterpret the comparison to Blair. If it's an accurate comparison, despite all the mud-slinging, Tech-Babe will be fucking him within 5 business days.
You're so on Jason...LOL!
FUCK, is it who I think it is?!?! Noooo!!!!
KapMan...YES!
Pull it out Tech Babe! Pull the ghetto out of your back pocket...ooh, Chick Fight! LMAO!