I overworked myself at the gym last night; an attempt to de-stress from the news of Danny Conrad joining the team. I average 9 minute miles on the treadmill –still beats the military standard of 10 minute miles. A good cardio work-out for me is typically 20-30 minutes. But the idea of Danny Conrad coming back into the picture had me going for a full hour! By the time I hit mile 3, I pushed myself to hit the next mile in 8 ½. My motivation? Danny Conrad. My entire run was muddied with flashbacks of Danny.

We met back in 2001 when I came on to manage a team of analysts at a leading Mortgage Servicing house. My first impression of him wasn’t in his favor. He was overly cocky, combative, liked listening to himself speak and was convinced that every answer to any question could be formulated by applying business calculus. He just always had something to say. In the company of others, he’d take pleasure in “one-upping” the one speaking. He was young, unseasoned, immature, and was still trying to win the prize for hooking up with the most girls at work. He’s 6 years my junior. On the other hand, he was also very witty, cracked a lot of jokes, tall and good-looking and somewhat charming, and put himself together very nicely. And that was the problem with Danny. It’s like he had two personalities scaling on two extremes…never a happy medium. He was liked and hated. Guys thought he was an asshole and girls flocked to him. I was unaffected by what everyone told me about him, convinced there was no way I’d fall for any of his shit. Wrong!

After four months of working together, which includes four months of butting heads, four months of constant bickering, and four months of pushing my buttons, we found ourselves in the sheets with one another. And so it started, the beginning and end of the most unlikely and dysfunctional relationship! He picked and nagged at everything in the workplace, at home, at restaurants…damn he was a pill! But there was something that drew me to him each and every time that I couldn’t shake. I guess he masked everything I hated about him with his sensitivity and passion for me. We solved most of our problems in the sack. The sex was ridiculously amazing! We hated each other one day and couldn’t pry us apart the next. He was manipulative and managed to get me to fall for his shenanigans every time! I couldn’t win! The irony is, I was never trying to win--anything! He turned everything into a contest. He decided to pursue an MBA from Pepperdine when he got wind of my 2 year old accomplishment just to prove he can come out of it with a higher GPA than mine! And guess what? He did and I didn’t give a fuck! His response? “You’re only acting like you don’t care because I beat you.” Are you fucking kidding me? Right then and there I knew he carried way more estrogen than I did. What guy does that?

At some point, we started working out with each other. When running alongside the treadmill with one another, he’d look over at my display at the end of our sprint and say, “That’s it? That’s all you got? I thought you were this total gym-rat and I’m hitting 7 minute miles…” This went on and on for at least 10 minutes after our run…EVERY TIME! And that’s what was playing and replaying in my head throughout my entire run last night! This is going to be horrible!

He broke up with me after about year. And his reason? "If you can't see yourself as my wife, then we're not going anywhere. We should cut our losses now." WTF?!?!? It's only been a fucking year and he's talking about marriage? Most girls would be thrilled, but not me. I'd be worn and haggard by the time I even got to the church from all the blow-ups we would have had leading up to the day; which, by the way, would give him an out to cheat on me with some hussy at the corner bar. No thank you! He's so draining! And I'm drained again just thinking back. In spite of the break-up, we still worked with one another, still butted heads, still bickered over stupid shit, and therefore, still had explosive angry sex.

I’m already anticipating all the PDA (Public Displays of Arguments)! And our arguments were always huge blow-outs that always landed me in bed with him. Nope, not this time. Thank goodness for Johnnie Vasquez! He’s got all of my sexual attention these days…and it’s even more mind-blowing than ever! Besides, it’s been at least 5 years, he could have matured, right? God help me...