Are You Smarter Than an Asshole?
Monday, June 23, 2008 at 11:44PM 
What a weekend buzz-kill. There’s nothing worse than having an 8a.m. Monday meeting, coming back from a bachelorette weekend in Vegas! All credits due to Danny Conrad. (That fucker!) He did it intentionally just to rile me up. And guess what? It did! No surprises there.
Danny knows I’m so not a morning person. He’s also always competing with me, even though he knows I’m not competing with him--especially in the work place. He turns everything into a game show where contestants’ skill-sets are challenged and IQ levels tested. Game show categories have included or include:
· Most animated power point presentation
· Fastest code interpreter
· Most complicated and elaborate SQL Query
· Email Composition
· And of course, most visible project assignment
Sounds fun, doesn’t it? He won’t admit that I blow him out of any and all of the categories above, so to go for the grand prize, which is to take my job or get promo’d before I do, he resorts to petty little games to make me look bad--like scheduling an 8a.m. meeting on any given day, especially on a Monday, knowing damn well I won’t be there.
I got into the office at 7:50a.m., and waited outside the conference room until 8a.m. exactly. I gave it one more minute to get him going with his formal announcement to the participants of my non-responsiveness to the sense of urgency in and around this project. While waiting, I composed a quick text message to Danny, but it didn't send it just yet. I walked in casually, sipping my triple-venti-non-fat-easy caramel-light whip caramel machiatto, apologized for being a single minute late, looked at him and gave him the nod; you know, the “sit your ass down, I’ve got it from here” nod. Right as he sat, I hit SEND on my blackberry and proceeded with the meeting. Danny reached for his blackberry and read the following:
SORRY YOU LOSE, PLEASE TRY AGAIN…GAME ON ASSHOLE!
Yeah, that got him heated. He would usually fire right back at me regardless of who was around, but being the newbie on the floor, he knew he still had to prove himself. Yes, the ability to be a bitch or an asshole in the workplace is earned.
And by the way, I only made it in as early as I did because I had a “welcome back from Vegas” late night session with Johnnie Vasquez at his place and he had it worse than me—a 7a.m. Monday meeting! Poor guy, I rocked him pretty good last night too.
Reader Comments (10)
My guess is you two haven't fucked yet Tech Babe. And I am impressed! Hasn't he been there now for about 2 months? My, my, my, maybe things do change over time.
Maybe I missed that post. Who the hell is Danny Conrad?
Don't let him get to you TB. And don't give in! I don't care how crazy the sex is with DC. JV sounds like a nice guy for you=)
HEH. TB 1, DC 0. Exactly what he deserves. Sticking it to a man is always more satisfying than letting him stick it to you. And yes, I did mean that both ways. You go, TB! I can't wait to see what you do to him next.
BTW... I used narration once with a powerpoint presentation... I was the total shit! They were all waiting for me to start talking but the PPT started and it was completely narrated. I just sat through the whole thing and fielded q's at the end... after they shut their mouths from their bout of slack jawed amazement. *snicker*
I've still got my money on DC for crazy sex. That's the way it goes, especially if he's an asshole...
Kap Man: Your guess is accurate.
E: Danny Conrad's a manipulative and insecure asshole.
GirlieSue: JV is the nicest guy, not to mention hot hot hot and crazy in bed=P
Winter: Thx for keeping score! And I did the auto-narration using one of my BFF's voices, who used to be a 1(900) girl in college. It was fantabulous! Great minds think alike=)
Jason: Sounds like you're asking for a friendly wager on this one...
So you've been spending quite some time with this JV guy, is it boyfriend status yet?
Andy: Not "BF" status...as a matter of fact, there's no status at all. I hate labels because they drive expectations-- from both sides. I don't ask questions. Just havin' fun and rollin' with the punches with this one. Cheers...
TB, go ahead and screw the bastard and get it over with; maybe that'll quiet him down...or not...
No way Cola!That won't work...it'll only give him an excuse to keep hounding me, not to mention, he'll want to come back for more!=P *toot-toot*