Re-Orgs and Special Projects
Thursday, June 26, 2008 at 11:56PM My company won't fire anyone. Well, I won't say anyone, but it almost seems the higher in rank you are, the more incompetent you become, and the harder it is to get fired. I can't understand it.
We had another re-org, yet again. A total of seven, three major and 4 minor, which included inter-departmental re-orgs. But who's counting? I do love people-watching come re-org time. There's an air of nervousness, anxiety, fear of being outsourced, etc. all around...the whispers, the silent stares, the sudden increase in productivity-- it's just flat out pandimonium! It fucking amuses me. Not that I'm that cold of a human being, but I'm amused, moreso because those that fall into auto-panic state are more likely the poor performers, who's skills have dulled, but yet managed to have flown under the radar for years and have gotten away with it. And this, sadly enough, includes Senior Level Managers. How these people climb the ranks over here is beyond me. So rather than getting rid of dead weight, they simply take away any direct reports and decommission you in the "Special Projects" cloud. This is how my organization looked like in the beginning of the year-pretty standard, except for that for VP guy in the Special Projects cloud (I hear he's been there for a couple of years now):
I usually take these re-orgs with a grain of salt and become completely unaffected by it. Re-orgs are almost always simply a change in reporting structure for budgetary reasons; but the job doesn't change, typically. As long as a paycheck is coming my way, I've got no issues with it. Besides we all operate under a matrixed reporting structure anyways, so who gives a fuck? Yeah, that was my attitude about 2 months ago when after another re-org, it looked like this:
Yes, that Special Projects cloud got bigger. One of the new fallen Directors was my MIA Boss. And as a result, I picked up two more areas of responsibility. Still not too big of a deal, but I was becoming more concerned than I really led on. Fuckers man. Another one, or two, rather, bites the dust. Still retaining their VP and Director statuses, same pay, just now working on a Special Project, with no visibility, and therefore no accountability. And no one knows what the fuck kind of special projects these are!
With the latest and greatest re-org, just announced late Wednesday, it's now looking like this:
And by the way, that bright red bubble call-out that reads "HELLO Muther Fuckers...I'm dyin' here"? That's me, Tech Babe. Even more areas of responsibility, with no pay increase, no additional headcount, and not a single competent Sr. Manager left in the hierarchy. It's only a matter of time that the Special Projects cloud becomes even bigger. As a matter of fact, so many idiots have been decommissioned to the SP cloud that they're fucking things up even moreso now with absolute zero control that the Division CIO formally named the longest standing SP guy, VP, Special Projects & Governance. And his immediate responsibility? To establish a standard governance procedure and methodology tailored to "Special Projects" to regain control over these special projects that no one ever knows what they even are! What the fuck did I just say...I don't know, bottom line, it's late, I'm tired, and my goal is to hit VP status in 6 months so I can fuck up as much as I want, still get paid, still retain an executive title, and write blogs all day. (Not really.)
I guess there is a silver lining to every cloud--regardless of what kind of cloud it is--which is, that second re-org brought me two things: (1) Venky, who I can play pranks on, yell at, and still count on him to deliver in spite of all that because I am now his "work-wife" and (2) Johnnie Vasquez, my Mexican Mormon who I'm now exchanging bodily fluids with.
Yeah, I'm going to really count on that silver lining when Performance Evals come around. Son of a...
*night*
Reader Comments (3)
Wow, that's about as fucked up as my IT dept. What company is it that you work for again?
Well, that's a new one on me. A whole department for "Special Projects"?
Maybe Fernandez should jump to your company. He should stop being my matrix-ed boss and go back to Special Projects...
Sounds like what my company just did. Must suck to be in that position!