Thanksgiving Eve in the office is absofuckinglutely pointless. Everyone physically checks in merely to mentally check out. I, on the other hand, had a total of six meetings scheduled before the eleven o’clock hour. Each meeting ended about ten minutes in, on average. Guess it helps when your opening liner is “Why the fuck are we here today?” Everyone chuckles and “The End;” meeting over.

After a disappointing troll around the office for Thanksgiving treats, I decided to play email catch-up. That lasted a whole five minutes. I wasted the next hour sending ‘NSFW’ You Tube vids using encrypted instant messaging software, of course. (Shit, maybe that Corporate Ethics training I took the other day actually stuck.) [Onto Twitter]

One o’clock rolls around and Rico came over to bring me a venti-quad PSL. (That’s a Pumpkin Spice Latte for those of you who don’t speak Starbucks.) I think he’s securing his secret with me, even though I already know the entire office knows about it. But I’m going to ride this one out as long as I can.

One thirty, one thirty five, thirty seven, forty one…

[Thought Bubble: Goddammit!! Where the fuck is that early dismissal email?]

Two o’clock, two fifteen, two thirty…

About ten voices, mine included, rang throughout the office: “FINALLY!” Everyone was anxiously and restlessly waiting for that email. The elevators were packing up quick, so I waited another fifteen minutes. I figured I’d book my next spa facial while I waited. Done.

Just like this post, Thanksgiving Eve in the office is pointless, but I think I got my point across here. 

On that note, have some cock, take a nap, and have some more.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!