Launch Day
Tuesday, February 3, 2009 at 12:16AM 
In the world of Product Development or New Business Development, launch day is a super exciting day! In the world of Project Management, it's 'do or die day.' If the latter, then beware of future "special project" assignments. But in the world of IT, launch day equates to massive fucking chaos! And not just the 'day of' but all the days, nights, and weekends prior to and leading up to it.
The past three weeks, including weekends, have been pretty fucking ridiculous. Yes, I said weekends. And yes, that included Superbowl Sunday. I could sit here and rant about it all day and all night, so I will.
In a nutshell, I've had no life; insufficient gym time, pizza at least three days a week, twitter interference, and I've managed to harvest a couple of little stress blemishes on my chin. (Hate those fuckers.) I've also increased my caffeine, alcohol intake, and my typing speed to 98 words per minute.
The best part of the lead up to launch day is when the Business stakeholders call everything a showstopper! I mean everything! Meaning, "if you dumb asses don't fix 'this', the launch is off!" To which my interpretation, being on the other side of the fence is, "if you ass wipes can't make a fucking decision and figure this shit out way earlier than two days prior to launch, then die." (Not really.) As stupid as these 'showstoppers' are, and as cynical as I have become, I must admit, I do get a kick out of what's deemed a 'showstopper.'
Things like:
- The font in the user interface is ugly - Showstopper!
- One user (of 60,000) can't make training due to vacation - Showstopper!
- Advertising collateral is printed on semi-gloss versus standard gloss - Showstopper! And the best,
- Five users (again out or 60,000) can't access the system because they can't remember their password, nor their security questions to have their passwords reset. - Showstopper!
The list goes on and on. At some point, you can't do anything else but laugh. And then there are the "War Rooms." This isn't like the same war room I used to hide in back at my old company or what others (*ahem*) used as a quickie motel room. This was more like a war hotline. People were literally going to war! We all had to man the 'war hotline' to support whomever dialed in that had an issue. This was an all weekend and all day thing. I've lost my voice and running on four hours of sleep. And I get to do it all over again tomrrow. Yay! Congratufuckinglations on a successful launch!
Reader Comments (5)
haha, I feel you on the whole "launch day" ordeal. SHOWSTOPPER! ahaha... classic.
After the launch when people bitch about an app not working properly, I always tell them that the app is working to specifications (unless of course the App melts down or something) and if they want it changed we have to put in for an enhancement and they need a VP to sign-off on it. This usually quiets people down quickly and gives you time to fix the problem.
Deep breaths, luv...one thing I've found is stupid people don't get smarter because u work harder. Hopefully, you get a real break soon.
Show Stoppers = Issue lies between the chair and the keyboard
Let's not diminish the importance of fonts here... For example, when writing dirty emails to female co-workers, it's not just about the adult content; it's about presentation. A good font can convey a certain perverse tone that words alone can't quite muster, and certainly standard fonts like New Times Roman and Arial can't express. If I were forced to use, say, Courier to write a dirty email to someone (and there was no intention of presenting some dirty retro tone), that would be a show stopper for me. At that point, I might as well just text the person. In a subtle way, fonts can be everything.