Head of the Office Decorating Committee
Tuesday, April 21, 2009 at 11:09PM I'm not a huge fan of birthday fanfare in the office. I'm pretty sure I went over this last year with my office birthday attack. But I'm pretty sure I just fucked myself here.
Last Friday, I executed a birthday cubicle thrashing; well, not a thrashing exactly. (It was "cute." - Blarf!) The victim? My office spouse. I mess with him all the time and daily pranks and excessive use of profanity around him are requirements. If I don't cuss up a storm, he'll thinks I'm mad at him. His birthday was last Friday and I couldn't let the day go without impeding his productivity.
I checked his Friday calendar earlier in the week to make sure he had an important meeting scheduled right at 9a.m. He did. He's usually about 10-15 minutes late to any Friday morning meeting scheduled before 10a.m. So when he runs to his desk, he frantically throws his head-set on, reaches for his notebook and pen, that is misplaced everyday since he's a total desk slob. Then the light switch came on [*bing*]. How great would it be to not only clean up his workspace, but completely wrap all of his contents in pleasant birthday gift wrap...hmmm. Well, it was done. And here was the result:
As expected, he rushed to his desk that Friday morning and blurted...
"Goddammit [TechBabe]! Toss me a pen. Where the fuck is my phone? MOVE! I'm using your office!"
He was pretty pissed! Meanwhile I'm LOL'ing all over the fucking place!
Right then, I knew my work was done for the day. (Or so I thought.) Because it was such a hit and everyone got a kick out of it, by 4p.m. Friday, I received four email requests and two actual meeting invites (each for 30 minutes) to develop and execute upcoming office birthday attacks! What the fuck do I look like? The head of the decorating committee? I hate planning shit! But looks like I'm stuck.
So yeah, I pretty much fucked myself.
Reader Comments (8)
I should say you should be ashamed of yourself, along with apologize and possibly offer a suicide hotline over the gift wrapping.....
Fuck that though. That shit is hilarious!!!
Just sabotage yourself going forward, and do the absolute worst possible job u can on the next 'assignment', or just call in sick that day. They'll get the hint, TB.
Well, if you *really* don't want to do that shit again ... next time you could just lay out a hot steamer on a keyboard, and then go home to rest. Would be *best*prank*ever* and you _probably_ will be off the committee
When you say you "fucked yourself", I'm thinking I might want to see that. Or maybe I'm thinking in a different context...
Fantastic idea, and I just LOVE the results! Um, sorry everybody else did, too.
Nick: Ashamed? Me? NEVER! I do feel bad for the possible suicide hotline thing.
Shoe: Just when I think I'm intentionally sabotaging something, it turns out great. This was a perfect example. Again, there was no more than 3min of thought put into this. I just wanted to fuck with him. Well, not literally.
Andy: That might work out.
JasonX: No, there's never a different context with you.
msfitzham: The punishment I get for being creative.
Nice touch giftwrapping his orange.
Fuck me, just when I thought that I couldn't laugh anymore, (re: arm-fat burner with voice-over), you've gone and fucked up the rest of my day now with hilarity. How's a bloke supposed to get anything done now with two (2) hilariously funny acts to think about in one day...????? LMFAO {__}> Double Cheers <{__}