CYA   
abbr.   Vulgar Slang 
Cover your ass 

We all hate to do it, but it's a must; especially working with large project teams who don't talk to each other. CYA'ing is so fucking unproductive and, not to mention, is cause for hitting your inbox storage limit on a daily. The most common CYA technique is Cc'ing everyone under the sun. The usual intent is to make the email recipient in the 'To:' line look like a fucking moron. CYA'ing is nothing more than pushing accountability to someone else so you don't get your ass chewed; the corporate blame game. More times than not, the 'CYA-er' is a lazy fuck and the intended 'CYA-ee' is a fucking idiot if he/she gets caught up in the game.

Now that we have this perspective of CYA'ing, here's an important tip if you're playing the 'CYA-er':

KNOW YOU'RE 'CYA-ee!'

Let me rephrase that, KNOW who the fuck it is you THINK you're fucking with before you hit 'Send' on that email!!! (Fucktarded Cunt!) Why? So you don't end up looking like the idiot!

Obviously, I'm still a little heated from the situation that went down at the very tail-end of my day on Thursday. And I, [TechBabe], was the 'CYA-ee.' And based on my definition above, the 'CYA'er,' (aka Cunt) did not know who she was fucking with. And just like the CYA'er profile I just described, she hit every point:

• Cc'd about 25 people of which was mixed with Director and VP titles;
• Is a lazy fuck and attempted to blame me for something her dumbass forgot; and
• She put [TechBabe] as the intended recipient...big FUCKING mistake!

Here was th gist of her email to me (+25) in response to deliverable I sent earlier in the day:

[TechBabe],

While this is helpful, this is not what I asked for in totality. You still have not provided me the definition of [insert basic word here] and therefore I have to mark this task as incomplete. Also, I have in my notes that this deliverable was due by EOD, 04/22/09. Today is 04/23/09 so you have now put this project in jeopardy. 

I will be scheduling an urgent status call tomorrow so that we can all discuss the impact to the overall project schedule. 

Feel free to call me directly if you have any questions.

Thanks,

[I'm a fucking CUNT]

Ok, seriously? (wait for it....) IS SHE FUCKING CRAZY?!?!?! Let me get this straight. My deliverable was deemed incomplete because she didn't have the definitiion of something? And because of this, she's red stop-lighting the project? WHAT?!? 

Within ten minutes of receiving that email, I received three phone calls from Directors and one VP who were included in the Cc: line of the email. They all had the same reaction: "What the [fuck] is her problem?" Add one additional reaction followed by a chuckle: "She tried to put YOU in check. Hahaha, that [bitch] is so fired or off the project. Hahaha."

I wasn't in the least bit concerned of the reaction from my management team to her email because I know and they all know I always execute and deliver. I got heated by her intent. I was instructed by one of the Director's to not even respond to the email, but too late:

[You're a fucking CUNT],

Hi there. The deliverable I distributed this morning was complete to my understanding based on the action items documented in your meeting minutes dated 03/31/09 and email dated 04/02/09 at  2:09 PM PDT. 

My apologies for assuming the definition of [insert basic word here] wasn't apparent to you. Here's a link for future reference in the event you run into this again and so as to not throw any project into jeopardy status: www.dictionary.com.

Also, the process definition you were looking for was included in the initial training guides distributed at initial launch of Phase 1. A supplemental process guide, of which I created on 03/04/09, was distributed to you and your team on 03/05/09. I'll re-attach it here in case you lost the email. 

Hope that helps. Feel free to call if you need more.

Thanks [Bitch],

[Tech-Babe]

Need I say more?