I've decided to lay low for this year's holiday party, which is on Thursday. The last two years I've overextended myself. This year, I'm going to play matchmaker with Fiona the Cunt and Kelsey's Angry Fiancé to get both of them off my back. Oddly, I don't really care about hooking up with anyone myself. I just feel like getting really drunk and belligerent and getting kicked out. 

My company tends to reward members of management who "play hard" because they believe that is a reflection on how that manager works. Being drunk and disorderly at the holiday party will most likely get me promoted. Happy new year...