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Friday
08Jan2010

Black Friday

It's interesting when you die because the company actually openly acknowledges your contributions. When you're alive, the company can only acknowledge your contributions behind closed doors. And each contribution needs to be balanced with some sort of "needs improvement" otherwise it positions the employee for a promotion or at least a pay increase. Management 101: always temper praise with criticism, otherwise your employee will develop a very annoying sense of entitlement. Squash that attitude before it even develops. 

I personally don't care about being praised for the work I do because I don't really do any work. Instead, I delegate. And although I don't seek praise, I get praise for the things other people do because it appears that I have done those things myself. 

And now that I'm dead, I'm doing even less than I did before but getting more praise than ever before.

The only people that know I'm alive are the people in Payroll. I assured them that my death was only a false rumor. Nobody talks to the people in Payroll, so my secret should be safe. 

Death is good.

 

Reader Comments (2)

Is that why people are posting colors as they're status update today?

January 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor Durder

Everyone should mourn my death with a black ribbon on their avatar. I think that would be the appropriate thing to do on this sad occasion....

January 8, 2010 | Registered CommenterJason X

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