top of page
  • Writer's pictureJason X

how to Lose Your Job in 10 Days

By now, most of us have heard of people "quiet quitting" when they're fed up with their job. So instead of actually quitting, you stick with the job but just don't do shit. Unfortunately, you still have that crappy job with all the crappy people that make it a crappy job. I say, go out in style; make them get rid of you. Yes, you could just loudly quit, but where's the fun in that? Get fired loudly; really make an exit. And you can do it in just 10 days.

Day 1: Do your job.

80% of the workforce is incompetent and lazy with the remaining 20% running the business. While your boss may appreciate you doing your job (though probably not), your co-workers will hate you for it. High performance by an individual makes everyone else look bad. So don't quietly do your work proficiently, do it in everyone's face. You might even get sent to HR for such blatant competence.

Day 2: Get in early, leave late.

Managers used to like to work late, ensuring employees would work late. That's no longer the case. Managers know the value of staying late is only the perceived value, but that it doesn't really materially benefit the company or the individual. But if you stay late, the manager will stay late also so that he or she won't be perceived as less dedicated to the company. And they will hate you for it.

Day 3: Focus on results, not just activities.

Many at work do simple busy work in order to always appear swamped--yet they never seem to accomplish much. People tend to be expressive, wanting to meet and discuss issues but are also too cautious to ever make a hard decision that moves the needle forward. Imagine if you started coming up with real solutions that would require real work to implement. This kind of innovation would really upset the balance of laziness for both co-workers and your own boss.

Day 4: Identify inefficiencies.

Ever wonder why there are so many complicated, drawn out processes at work? Because it's somebody's job to manage these convoluted pipelines and if you improve the efficiency, you eliminate the need for that job. So nothing changes. Once you start identifying those inefficiencies, people will get very nervous. Now it's either you--or them.

Day 5: Own your mistakes.

Nobody respects a person at work who takes personal responsibility for actions. Certainly not your boss. It makes the department look bad. Deny, insinuate, point your finger, but don't appear accountable. So own your mistakes and watch your boss fume.

Day 6: Like your job.

Or at least appear to enjoy the work you do. The moment you start liking your job is the moment they decide it's time to crush you.

Day 7: Show initiative.

Go above and beyond your job responsibilities. People will suspect you're vying for the promotion they've been bucking for through political maneuvering alone. You're not just making them look bad; you're potentially denying them more money. Political enemies are critical to the success of losing your job. Your boss will hate it too because initiative typically generates more work for the department. Status quo is the objective of most managers.

Day 8: Be positive.

Managers and employees alike love venting about the job, the company, coworkers and everything else under the sun. And they want you to join in with empathetic commiseration. But now its time to hold back and put positive spins on everything. This attitude will not be appreciated and you'll soon become the subject of these disgruntled discussions.

Day 9: Say what you mean.

Speak your mind. Openly. Tell your boss what you really think. Managers don't like to be criticized especially when it makes logical sense. Start being honest and you're headed for a PIP.

Day 10: Execute and Deliver.

Most people at work fear execution and delivery. They focus on planning. And they plan forever. Because planning can't really be criticized. Everyone is judged on execution and delivery, so if you avoid these steps in the process, you can never fail. So don't just execute and deliver; do it successfully. Because then you also get the glory. Your boss will be disgusted and it will become undeniably clear: you've got to go.

When you've decided it's time to leave your job, don't go quietly; leave with a bang. They'll lose a great horrible employee and be worse off because of it. You'll leave with dignity and they'll continue to flounder in incompetence. Follow the steps above and I guarantee you'll successfully fail at your job.

11 views0 comments


bottom of page