• Jason X

Kessler

Updated: Feb 15




Part of the NFT Collection.


Kessler, who got penguined by Charmaine because Skeffington was too demanding, was the Exchange Manager responsible for email services and a multitude of office pranks befitting a child. With his slicked back, mostly thinning hair and bullish, snarling grim reaper grin, he and the slinking, pliant, colluding weasels he called his staff were real dickheads. Being around these guys was like being back in high school. They were that clique of kids who roamed the halls like creatures who fed on oozing humiliation and degradation.


When I first met Kessler, I thought he was positively brilliant which is why I knew I genuinely hated him. I viewed him as an annoying, ingenious child and he viewed me as a vulnerable and viable scapegoat for his own sinister activities. Suddenly, flagrantly, every time I saw Kessler or one of his devoted disciples, I’d get a calculating and concluding look of judgement, and then the shake of a head followed by the simple comment: You dog. And it made me think, how do they know I’m a dog? Even so, I remained stoic every time and never revealed the shame or humiliation they craved. They all had access to email, so maybe they had seen some of the highly unprofessional, unethical, and wildly perverted emails going back and forth between me and the Users. I had a strict policy to delete those messages one by one immediately after send and receive, and I had also instructed all Users to adopt the same policy. But you never knew what was going on behind the scenes. Company email was NEVER PRIVATE.


I asked McKinney what Kessler knew about me; why he and his staff were all calling me a dog.


“They don’t know anything about you,” he said with a smile. "You walked in on Kessler and Tami in the copier room. He had her bent over that big, multi-purpose copier, banging the shit out of her. He told everyone you were a dog so that if you said he was a dog, nobody would believe you."


To this day, I don't remember walking in on Kessler and Tami. How do you not notice two people fucking on a copier at work? But even though I apparently didn't notice anything, he assumed I noticed everything, because how do you not notice two people fucking on a copier at work?


It was on that day that I started truly admiring Kessler. In fact, we both started realizing that we were more alike than different and by the time Kessler stole Stew Lady’s stew, we had become good friends.

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